Preamble: Welcome one and all, to what will hopefully be a humdinger, but is far more likely to be football's answer to narcolepsy, considering Liverpool are playing away from home in the first leg of a Uefa Cup tie. Still ... we can always dream. Some bloke who looks like Les Battersby from Coronation Street leads the crowd in a rousing rensition of You'll Never Walk Alone, from the musical Carousel, in which your humble minute-by-minute reporter once played the role of Policeman #1. It was a lamentably poor school production in 1990 and I still remember my opening line: "Evening Mr Bascombe!" Anyway, enough about my sordid thespian past. The teams emerge from the tunnel, line up, shake hands etc. etc.