‘She’s the Love of My Life:’ A Story of Care and Strength in the Face of Breast Cancer

“I tell him all the time how grateful I am for him.” Jess Fioretti, 45, a wife, mom of two daughters, and metastatic breast cancer thriver tells her husband, Bob, these words everyday. “Nothing is ever guaranteed, so every little moment is special to me,” says Jess. “Whether it’s the next minute, the next hour, nothing is ever guaranteed.”

Since Jess was diagnosed with stage four metastatic breast cancer in October 2023, she and her husband gained a newfound appreciation for life. At the time of her diagnosis, Jess said her mind went to the worst, immediately thinking about what her family’s life would look like without her.

“When you’re told stage four, you really just don’t know what’s going to happen,” she says. “I’m thinking, ‘what do I need to do? What do I need to write down for my kids? What do I need to get in order just in case my family has to live without me?'”

Before the doctor’s appointment, Jess and Bob had talked about “so many crazy things,” ranging from funeral planning to what Jess would want for Bob’s future without her.

“That was not a conversation I wanted,” says Bob. “I was kind of blocking you out because there is no me without you or you without me. It’s just how it is.” It was a very emotional time for the Fioretti couple. So much so, that Bob started to suffer from panic attacks post-diagnosis.

“I honestly thought she had four to six months to live. It was just tragic,” he says. “I was heartbroken.” But coming out of the doctor’s appointment, they were relieved to discover that Jess’ diagnosis wasn’t a death sentence.

“He [the doctor] basically told us right out of the gate, ‘you’re not planning your funeral,'” Bob says. “Hearing his words, I realized at that point it wasn’t a death sentence, it was a life sentence and there were so many different elements that we needed to start addressing immediately to get her on the right track.”

And that he did.

Jess says that Bob has been one of the main reasons she’s gotten through her diagnosis. “He’s helped me from a medical standpoint. If he had to give me medications around the clock, if he had to change my bandages, or wash my hair, he [would do] all those things. But it’s not just the medical piece. It’s the emotional – it’s the support that’s been super important.”

“I’m so fortunate for him because it’s heartbreaking to not know what your future holds,” Jess says. “This is my person. We were meant to be together and meant to go on this journey together because we can get through it together. In the moments where I feel like I’m not getting through it in the best way, he’s there to remind me that it’s all right and whatever we have to do is what we’re going to do. If I didn’t have that, I’d be spiraling.”

Jess recalls a time when Bob called her while she was driving, asking if she remembered to take her medication. She had forgotten and Bob told her to pull over so that he could bring her medication directly to her. “I would have driven a day’s long journey just to get to her and make sure she had her pill. It’s the most important thing,” he says. Jess has to take her pill twice a day so Bob sets phone reminders to remind Jess.

“She’s the love of my life,” Bob adds. “I would do anything for her and that’s just how I’ve always felt. I never once thought of my role in this or what I do for her along this journey as a caregiver. I would describe it as a partner, a soulmate. I would do anything for her even if it was out of my own comfort zone.”

Bob has even gotten a crash course in metastatic breast cancer because he’s been to every single doctor’s appointment that Jess has had. “I’ve done a lot of note taking,” Bob says. “I’ve been there trying to be the calming, supportive [one].”

And that can be seen in their home life as well with Bob taking on chores such as the laundry or making their daughter’s lunches. “If me doing the laundry, cleaning the house, or cooking helps her, that’s fine by me. I help out as much as I can, whenever I can. Whatever it may be, if that can help her continue to be positive, make her happy, and keep her thriving, then that’s my goal. That’s what it’s all about.”

In addition to the support at home, Bob also understands Jess’ mission to be an inspiration for others. “Change can’t happen without action,” Jess says. “I think about the legacy that I would want to leave behind, and if I can’t control what’s happening in my life, then I at least try to help make change and do something about it. I’m going to try to be a voice that the world can hear and learn more about metastatic breast cancer and find a cure.”

Jess states that stage four metastatic breast is underfunded and not as widely understood by the general public. “Research fundraisers bring in millions of dollars for breast cancer yearly, but only a very small portion of that is actually given to stage four research,” she says. That’s why she chose to fundraise for METAvivor as they are the only foundation that gives their funding solely to stage four metastatic breast cancer research.

Jess participated in a glow in the dark walk for METAvivor as her way of shining a light on metastatic breast cancer and the need for funding to support the research. “We’re fighting for our lives. We’re fighting for a great cause, we’re educating other people, and we’re bringing people together.”

The breast cancer community has been another reason Jess has gotten through her diagnosis. Bob recalls a time when they were in Panera Bread and Jess received news that the cancer spread to her bones, spine, and skull area. “I became dizzy and almost felt like I was going to pass out,” he says. “We immediately drove home, but even as we were driving Jess was already in that community, explaining what was going on. Within seconds she had hundreds of replies reassuring her and that was so helpful.”

Bob knows the importance of staying positive – for himself, Jess, and their daughters. “I don’t know exactly where I get it [my positivity] from to be honest. It’s to me. It’s a no-brainer. This is what I’ve been put here to do and I wouldn’t do anything differently,” he says.

It can be a lot for a person to take on, especially since Bob admits that he never talks to his friends about it. “I have never really talked to friends, but my mother has been the closest support system for me. When I was dealing with the panic attacks, my mother was my rock and I did manage to get some things off my shoulders,” he says. “But until I hear ‘we’ve done everything we could,’ I know it’s a continuation, a fight, and that I just have to stay positive.”

Jess is also “eternally grateful” to her mother-in-law. And of course, her friends who have been there along her journey. “I have some very close friends that just never even ask. They just do,” Jess says. “They just show up. I appreciate it so much. Sometimes that check in of ‘hey, how’s it going?’ Or, ‘I’m going to stop by for coffee or whatever,’ those little things, even if we don’t talk for a couple weeks, mean a lot.”

The couple have both been on a long journey, but he remains grateful for the time and the memories they’ve managed to have. “I really do appreciate every moment.” he says. “I do realize how precious life can be. It’s been an eye opener and if I had to take anything positive from this, I appreciate that my eyes have been open to life and being aware of the time you have and not taking anything for granted. My hope is that they find a cure and that our family can live in peace, sharing a lot of happy moments and many more happy memories.”

METAvivor is dedicated to the specific fight of women and men living with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. While more people have taken up the cry for more stage 4 research, METAvivor remains the sole US organization dedicated to awarding annual stage 4 breast cancer research. Visit here to learn more and donate.