“hey, it’s the weird guy who thinks he’s throwing us off by ordering something different every time”
Midnight Wolf
Hello! Some info about me is up on my website: https://wreckedcarzz.com/
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Joined 3 年前
Cake day: 2023年8月23日
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Money. Not gift cards, not ‘you’ll take me out for a fancy lunch’, not ‘I’ll buy you something off your Amazon wishlist’. Money. Cold, physical currency.
Why? Parents and relatives are denser than a concrete bomb shelter. I don’t want furniture, I don’t want games, I don’t want gift certificates. If I want something, I’ll buy it myself. And for my ‘splurge’ list, you know what, sure mom. I want an XL David from Bad Dragon, in natural colors, and in a soft+medium firmness. And, because I want to feel like I am being spitroasted, a small Flint, in natural, and soft. I do need to work on my gag reflex. Oh, you’ll just give me cash? Okay then. Don’t open any package addressed to me, mmkay?
It’s when they start scanning coupons that you don’t know about that they have the hots for you. Fifty cents off toothpaste? 😳🥵
I do love literal wording like this. Cheesecake also comes to mind, just slap some Monterey Jack onto my birthday cake, thanks.
5·18 小时前The one that does the stuff
Unsubscibe from sad panda facts :(
Apparently they have extremely low sex drive though, so uh. That’s not going to work out for me :(
Same, I was very confused lol
Lisinopril 5mg
Ah, is that all you’ve got? Round these parts if your combined dosage is less than 80mg, you can’t join the club. Thems the rules, sorry.
Now that seems unfair. So you get docked if the power grid goes down? Jeez…
Your teacher was a ghost
1·1 天前Not my particular kink, but as long as you are having fun 😳
Stress.
All my exs live in Tex is…
Ha ha, because he is in the middle, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wait, what do you mean that’s not the joke? Cut this guy next. Ha ha ha ha ha.
With a sharpie, duh. Didn’t they teach you that in 4th grade? And if you put your phone number below it, hot chicks will call you day and night to hold hands. That nugget is from 6th grade.
Me, walking into the store wearing just a jockstrap and nipple clamps: “I know, right?”